紐約時報前一陣子才刊登「愛情練習題 36 Questions」("To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This" ) 報導，沒過多久向以犀利批判見長的 New Yorker 紐約客雜誌有篇文章"To Fall Out of Love, Do This"，同樣要大家做 36 道愛情練習題，只不過做完，有可能男男女女大嘆不如分手快樂?!
看這一篇文章: [愛情練習題 36 Questions] 做完不保證拉近彼此親密距離，但真心話值得交換
題目依照愛情練習題 36 Questions 為已婚或同居男女設計，與其說是發問，不如說更像是發洩出口，藉由提問，題題直搗現實生活兩人相處遇到的歧見問題。每一題聽起來猶如怨婦口吻，忍不住埋怨另一半毫無情趣可言，只會滑手機，回家賴在沙發看電視，不懂送禮物等等，還有生活習慣的看法迥異，使得讀這篇文章的人不禁嘆口氣腦袋想著: 「結婚與戀愛根本兩回事吧?!」
我回想，去年參加親戚兒子的喜宴，一位婦人上台致詞，「人家說結婚是戀愛的墳墓..」，此句一出，我不禁替兩位新人捏把冷汗，什麼話不好說，以這種觸霉頭的話當引言，聽起來十分尷尬。她以過來人之姿，要兩位新人互相體諒、包容，努力經營彼此關係，這樣算勉強轉回金玉良言的軌道，可是，在場已婚男女說不定心裡點頭如搗蒜，認同這位女士講的話，戀愛怎能當飯吃，結婚是真言之口，想面不改色說謊掩飾，根本痴人說夢。
第一題與最後一題設計，根本是怨氣最高極致，更別說問題哪像問題，其實是吐槽連連，看得出來作者對紐約時報「愛情練習題」有多不屑吧?! 你可以試著用下面任何一題來問你身邊已婚的朋友、親戚、同事，問他的看法和想像另一半可能回答，保證足以讓大家對話頓時凝結，面面相覷，陷入長思:「結婚有什麼好? 」
這幾道題目有沒有嚇退渴望成家的朋友呢? 我無從得知。無論誰要先發問，皮可要繃緊，想想太過老實作答的後果，先族先烈的例子多在歷史得到應證，對家庭生活漠不關心的男士尤其該知道這些問題的本質是你情趣經營的欠缺。仔細看著身邊的她，是不是看見女人臉龐露出絲絲哀怨，常有意無意對你講著，哪家子過得多采多姿，臉書又看到他們去哪玩，羨慕人家夫唱婦隨神仙眷侶。
女人吐完苦水，還是回到堅持的崗位，認真打理家庭，豈是能休夫圖自己的痛快，男人看了題庫，該捏把冷汗，想著另一半是不是也在心中醞釀大暴走，想呼他臉一巴掌?! 自己有沒有認真看待眼前這位女人，不該理所當然視她為媽媽或妻子的角色，她想的不是生活無任何想法，只想宅在家裡的丈夫，而是能重回一起做一件事，留下美好回憶的那個時候，而不是各過各的，彼此相敬如冰。
你還是不得不認同那句老話:「相愛容易，相處難」，所有男女都該謹記在心，別為婚姻是戀愛墳墓背書，一旦放棄努力經營，終究要打回原點，問那個老問題，你怎會愛上他/她? 當初選擇願意許下與他/她攜手的諾言，現在又為什麼有堅持不下去的想法?
當你或另一半看完題目心中產生懷疑與焦慮，請各別獨處，沈澱心情，靜下心想想，若現在不做些「改變」，解凍彼此關係膠著狀態，繼續一起生活下去，只是折磨與不堪。「關心」是一把重新啟動愛情的鑰匙: 答應享用一頓大餐，絕不三不五時低頭看手機，最後為她/他準備愛吃的點心，慶祝在一起多年相處時光；平常就要開口稱讚對方的優點，避免用高八度聲音數落他/她的不是；看到他/她發的線上訊息，馬上回應，讓對方感受你最在乎他/她。或許從小小的改變開始做起，翻轉冷漠倦怠循環，加溫情感溫度，靜待他/她自然而然往你身上貼上去，啟動久違的親密密碼。
Set I
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you like to punch in the face?
在這世界上你最想揍誰的臉? (答案是眼前的你?) - On average, how long do you spend composing tweets before you post them? Do you realize that they don't matter?
到底你花多少時間在社群網路上 (例如推特、臉書)? 你知道那些一點都不重要?! - Before responding to a text, do you wait a few minutes to make it seem like you're doing something more important? Why? Answer me now.
你會裝忙等個幾分鐘才回訊息嗎? 為什麼這麼做? 告訴我! - What would constitute a "perfect"day for you? Why do we always just go home and watch Netflix instead of doing any of that stuff?
你知道什麼叫做「完美的一天」? 為什麼我們不做其他事，總是回家看電視 (舉例美國人用Netflix 看線上影片)? - What's your favorite song? No, it's not. I've never once heard you listen to that song.
你最愛的歌是哪一首? 才不是這一首，我從沒聽過你播這首歌。 - Honestly, which one of us would you rather have die first?
老實告訴我，我們倆你希望誰先死? - So you want me to be the one who becomes a burden to our children and then dies alone?
所以你要我獨立負擔小孩，然後孤老終死? - Name three things you find irritating about your partner.
說出三件你討厭我的事 - Why do we even have a dishwasher if you insist on thoroughly scrubbing the dishes before putting them in? O.K., fine, I'm adding your dishwasher issue to my list of irritating things, too. So there.
若你堅持碗盤要刷過一遍才放進洗碗機，那我們幹嘛還買它? 沒關係，我把這件事列入令人厭煩的清單，就是其中一件。 - If you could change anything about your partner's family, what would it be?
你要是可以改變你家，會想做哪一件事? - Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. I already know that story. And I was there for that one. It didn't happen like that.
花四分鐘仔細告訴我你的一生怎麼過的。喔，你的事我都知道，我參與其中耶，事情才沒你講的那樣。 - Why did you send me a link to this Times article if you didn't want us to go through the questions together?
如果你不要我們做愛情練習題，你幹嘛還寄時代雜誌的文章給我看?
Set II
- Between you and your partner, who is the better gift-giver?
我們誰比較會送禮物? - No, I did like that jacket, but I specifically asked for it, so it doesn't really count as a gift that you thought of, and, you know, "it's the thought that counts."
那件外套是我開口說我要的，不是你想出來送給我。用心送的禮物才算數。 - Ha ha. Fine. You can be the better gift-giver. Happy? Next question.
你說你比較會送禮物，還真好笑...下一個問題。 - What is your most treasured memory? I was there for that one. It definitely didn't happen like that.
你記得最寶貴的事是哪一件? 喔，少來，你覺得和我在一起最值得回憶? - What is your most horrible memory? No, "Right now, answering these questions" doesn't count.
你印象最可怕的一件事是? 現在回答這些問題不算在內。 - Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time but haven't done because you know your partner wouldn't like it?
是不是有件事你很久以前渴望去做，但你沒去做的原因是你另一半不喜歡? - Don't pin that on me. You know we don't have to do everything together, right?
別怪在我身上，我們哪件事一起做了，你心知肚明。 - What do you want to do for dinner?
你想晚餐我們做些什麼事好呢? - If you knew we were getting dinner tonight, why would you eat a cupcake at five? All I've had to eat today is a cup of soup and, like, eight almonds.
如果你知道我們今天一起弄晚餐，你會五點就吃杯子蛋糕? 而我到現在才喝一杯湯和幾顆堅果而已。 - Take turns going to the bathroom with nothing but a thin, not at all soundproof door separating you from your partner. Just sit there and hear it all.
換個地方到浴室，什麼都不做，隔著那道門，聽著下一道問題。 - What do you want to watch tonight?
你今晚想做什麼? - Are you going to fall asleep in the middle of the episode again?
你又要影集看到一半睡著嗎?
Set III
- I'm not the one making us answer these questions. Do you want to stop?
我不該是回答這些問題的人，你要就此打住嗎? - Do you not think our relationship is strong enough to handle these questions?
你覺得我們之間關係夠穩固到回答這些問題? - How do you feel about your partner's relationship with his or her mother?
你怎樣看待你另一半與他/她媽媽之間的關係? - Oh, like your mother is so much better?
喔，你跟你媽媽關係比較好? - Share a tube of toothpaste with your partner.
和你另一半共用一支牙膏 - Why are you not squeezing from the bottom? Are you a monster?
你為什麼從牙膏底下開始擠? 這不是很怪嗎? - Tell your partner which celebrities you find attractive.
告訴另一半哪位名人對你有吸引力 - Why do none of those celebrities look anything like me?
你說的名人哪一點像我? - Rent a car with your partner and drive while he or she gives directions.
租車上路的時候由他或她指路 - How am I supposed to get across four lanes in two seconds? You have to tell me the exit earlier.
我怎能幾秒內能轉過四條巷子 你早就該告訴我哪時候轉了。 - Tell your partner something that you like about him or her. Try to think of something. Anything.
告訴另一半你喜歡他/她的地方，試著想一想，任何一點都行。 - Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you like to punch in the face?
告訴我，這世界上你最想揍的人是誰?
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